Love is a Many Splendid Thing

“In the past, when it came to selecting a partner the decision often came down to social adaptability and family values. In today’s day and age, one is faced with a plethora of choices. Our only guide, one might think, is love. But Eros has a very distinct knock.

Almost two thirds of couples in today’s society are issued from the same social class or are at the very least in the same social bubble (what they call “extended” homogamy). Endogamy (the choice of a partner that originated from the same geographic location), despite an increased amount of relocating, is still high. In fact, why shouldn’t it be? As many might have noticed on dating websites, the search for love is spontaneously directed towards an individual that has similar qualities. 

The choice of a partner for intents and purposes is predetermined; however, isn’t the concept of the ideal relationship grounded in it’s absence of discrimination? And aren’t couples that much more interesting when homogamy becomes abstract: Gainsbourg & Birkin, Monroe & Miller…

Beyond mere resemblance, couples also function because the individuals compliment one another, thus difference is a factor. The other must be close enough in identity but endowed with enough difference that the general outlook will bring coherence to the couple. 

Why is it that in between heterogomay (the union of two individuals from a different social background) and homogamy does the balance tip in favour of the latter? The answer is that each social class cultivates its own stomping grounds.

The choice one is situated somewhere within that societal sphere, between social determination and the strategy of each actor, all founded on a bedrock of sentimental intentions. The strident Eros, before aiming his arrow, must make it past a social labyrinth with the patient and determined air of an accountant.”